I’m going to tell you about some of the fails. Some of the things that cause me to swear and shout and ignite that little voice in my head, ‘who do you think you are? You’re never going to make it work. You’re dreaming. You’re deluded. You’re an idiot.’
Most people have that little voice in their head. It’s the voice that stops you being brave. I know there’s a psychologically appropriate name for that voice. A name that makes that little voice sound legitimate and clinical and somehow sanitises a voice that sits somewhere between Dobby and Golem on the bad scale.
Luckily, I have another voice in my head. The ‘fuck it I’m going to do it anyway’ voice. The ‘no one tells me what to do’ voice.
So yeah. I have a problem with dogs and blackbirds, but I’m onto it. Mostly.
On Thursday I built this little fence around a shady area I planted up (first fence picture). I was proud of it. It was, I thought, the sturdiest, the hardest to penetrate fence I’d ever built. But I was wrong. It got broken into twice within the first half-hour. First by my Project Coordinator (Moussa) and Community Liaison Officer (Scout) and then by the Project Coordinator on his own. And it wasn’t for work purposes, although that’s what they claimed when questioned.
I fixed the fence up after the first bust in. I made the joins stronger. I pushed the stakes in deeper. Then I started threading string through a nearby sweet pea tee-pee. I turned my back for 5 minutes, if that. When I turned around I found my Project Coordinator ferreting around in the newly fenced garden. I ran over while shouting at him. I tried to make him come out the way he went in. He ignored me and continued to trample over my baby seedlings, flatten the hellebore and knock over the hydrangeas cuttings that Gaylene had given me. In my rage I tripped and fell on my new fence, breaking it and bending an adjacent metal fence. I felt pretty stupid siting on my ass in my new garden surround by carnage.
Here are some photos of the damage by black birds and dogs. A disclaimer: one of the photos shows a pile of dog shit. Scroll through quickly if it offends you.
I used bird netting in the past, but it’s impossible to properly cover my many different shaped garden beds (and I really tried). Plus it’s ugly. Cause, you know, I want my garden to look and act like a proper cottage garden. My cottage garden heroes, Margery Fish and my Nana would never have used plastic netting. And that’s why I don’t use any other plastic or mesh covering (but I don’t judge other flowers growers for using it. It’s a me thing).
And so I did some research on biodegradable string trellis, which can be used vertically or horizontally. And I discovered that Bunnings stock it and it’s not expensive. I trialled it on one garden bed in autumn. It was a success, so I’m rolling it out on the other beds. It stops birds and dogs and it supports the flower stems. And it looks great and it’s biodegradable. Hopefully I’ll get a couple of seasons out of it, but I doubt it.
The string trellis solves the problem with dogs on the raised beds, but the rest of the garden is still at their mercy. Clearly my fence making needs a re-think.
Last week I started thinking about foliage plants. I like foliage in a flower bunch. The right foliage. I ended up buying a few Nandina and Spirea shrubs. And a beautiful variegated Hoheria tree. I also bought some herbs: apple mint, Vietnamese mint and various other mints in chocolatey shades. I also discovered that one variety of Strawberry I have has great leaves. I used it in the bowl arrangement below.
I made the bowl arrangement last week and the teapot one the week before. All the vessels were op shop finds.
Here’s a small list of recent fails.
Planting seedlings into the garden when they were too small. They died. However, I can plant small seedlings into a raised bed successfully.
I realised that a ‘flowers for sale’ sign I painted a while back is ugly. I won’t use it.
I told everyone I’d practice backing Marigold, the pop top, everyday. I haven’t. It’s more like twice a week (I am getting better by the way).
I made a video for Tik Tok of me digging a hole for a plant. I stood in the wrong place. All you can see is my bum.
I haven’t got on top of weeding the front garden. It’s a mess and some of the small spring bulbs are getting monstered.
I hurt my back lifting stupidly heavy things that I knew I shouldn’t lift. Now I can’t run with the dogs. I have to walk them. And I have to do lots of silly stretches throughout the day.
I’m designing a stamp that tells people where and how my flowers are grown. It might be finished by the next blog. It might not.
Spring is in 21 days.
